You Weigh What!?

by Kris Pitcher

"If it's not too personal...what do you weigh?" he asked. We were at a work social function and I am always happy to talk about my hobby and if someone is interested - I'll tell all. His daughter had just competed in the bikini division at the show I was in and his interest was sparked.

Laughing I told him that I was probably about 125.5 on stage. His salt and pepper eyebrows went up in surprise. He asked about off season. I told him I work pretty hard to stay around 145. Shock!

"No offense, but you do not look like you could weight that much!" he said. None taken. I dispelled his statement that muscle weighs more than fat. Please know that 1 pound is 1 pound. Muscle is more dense though. I'll give you that...so yes, I don't take up as much "space" as someone who weights the same, or less, and doesn't carry the mass I do.

He was fascinated. We carried on. He asked about my body fat percentage. Looking for a reference he asked what a typical "fit runner" might be. I laughed. No offense to any runners out there...but "typically" speaking they're the classic skinny fat.

I explained that my 11% would look very different from another person's based on the difference we might have in our lean body mass. So, there is no desired body fat percentage for a competitor to be when she, or he, is standing on stage. It's all about how you look.

All this to set the stage to get to my point. I have no idea what I weigh today. No clue. Thinking about this topic...I wanted to step on the scale. But here it is, so get ready...

IT DOESN'T MATTER. I know I was roughly 125.5 on stage (close to 4 pounds heavier than last year!) and I know that I'm heavier than that two weeks out. But the number itself does not matter.

My goal matters. My goal is to build. My goal is to take advantage of the rebound period to feed my muscles and grow. So I will gain weight. THAT is the goal. Why get on the scale?

I know my "number" will be going up. Why torture my psyche by giving it the slightest indication that the number matters when it doesn't. Two weeks post contest and I couldn't tell you if I'm 136, or 140? Don't know.

I know I'm not 125. And I don't need to be 125. That is not the goal. What is your goal? And how does your number fit into it? DOES it even fit in? Or could you just let the number go and focus on the work?

Allowing the scale to drive your focus is backward in my view. Focus on the work, on the goal and the rest will come. Trust me. Trust you! You'd be surprised how much you weigh...depends on how much weight you give it.

Advice, Be Released!

by Kris Pitcher

What I have for you today is kind of special. A gift even. So, sit back and relax. Here's the advice you've been waiting to hear!

I know you've tried a lot of things. You have made some changes in your activity and in your eating over time. You ask a lot of questions and have learned a lot of new information. But you're still looking for that nugget of news that's going to really be game changing for you.

It seems you haven't liked the advice you've been getting. The blank stares, the justification to just do things the way you've been doing it. So, here's your big nugget - keep doing it your way.

And in the words of Dr. Phil, "How's that workin' for ya?" All you advice seekers have one thing in common - you just want to soak up the advice and keep on doing your old way. You don't want change.

You don't actually want to change your lifestyle? You wouldn't actually want to be uncomfortable? Give up the wine, the cupcakes, the late nights out with the girls? NO! That would be crazy!

You want to keep on doing all of that and still make progress losing weight. Garlic bread? Why not! Everyone else is doing it. Cocktail hour starting at noon? Dessert every night? The kids do...

Consider yourself released from advice seeking! Released! Be free! Stop asking us if you don't want to hear the answers we tell you. The answers aren't going to change.

We're going to keep telling you the SAME thing. Eat clean, do your cardio - yes every day, lift some weights to build your muscle mass, and change your mind set about how long you'll do this. We release you, get lost!

Chewed Out - Evolution

by Kris Pitcher

A year ago, if you had told me I would of my own free will...give up sugar free gum. I would have slapped you across the face and marched off with my pack of Extra so fast your head would spin.

That was a girl with a pack a day habit. A girl with a mouth full of minty goodness, snappin' her way between meals without a care in the world. That is evolution.

After giving it up for this past prep, I don't think I need it any more. I've experienced the massive disappointment of their "dessert" flavors. Which, taste nothing like root beer float, or mint chocolate chip. Nothing.

Those pieces I did chew. Gas. The sugar alcohols along with the physical gulping down of air while chewing left my belly a bloated mess. No stank you.

And thus another evolutionary mark in my eating. With each contest prep I refine a little more, go back to fewer things, and become a little more discriminatory. Seriously, I would have slapped you.

It didn't start out that way. It's a process, it truly is evolutionary. You give up artificial sugars for a week and you might go right back to it. But give them up for months, and you feel their wrath if you take them in again. Headache, bloating...gas.

I probably won't go back to gluten in glutinous amounts either. I get instantly stuffed up in my sinuses when I eat it now. So, moderation - extreme moderation with the gluten is what I've decided is going to work for me. And alcohol? Still haven't had any since 21 weeks before my contest.

Some things just don't fit in any more. They don't meet the goals. They won't get me to my next level, and frankly I haven't missed them. If I don't feel good when I have them, that's a clue that I don't tolerate them well.

Evolution is my way of refining what my process is. It's my way of determining what works for my body and what I'll go back to following a prep cycle. So, you can keep your packs of gum, I think I'm all chewed out.

Stink Eye From the Weird Guy

by Kris Pitcher

There is a distinct dress code amongst women at the gym. It looks like this: hat pulled down over eyes, head phones in ears, eyes down, very busy look...or scowl even, across the face.

And guys, I'll give you a hint - the i-pod ran out hours ago, and I can't see anything from under this hat. But the reason I have to wear this get up is I'm getting stink eye from the weird guy.

That's right! And you guys get it too. What is with that guy anyway? Giving everyone the stink eye? Why is he staring? Why is he mad-doggin' everyone?

Now there are certain things in the weight room you just can't avert your eyes to. It's the "train wreck" effect. You can't NOT look. No matter how hard you try. But this guy seems to be following you with his eyes. Like he's trying to follow your workout or something.

I know this isn't paranoia. BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO YOU TOO! So, I wonder if maybe we're just sensitive, or too sensitive, to why it's happening. Perhaps we think it's about us when it isn't.

Maybe they are interested in our program. Maybe weird guy wonders how it is we are lifting heavier than him. Maybe he's wondering how it is we are making so much progress while his beer belly just keeps getting "bear-y-er".

And maybe he's not just giving you the stink eye. Did it occur to you that he's giving everyone the stink eye?

I'm not saying let your guard down for "weird guy", by all means keep that repellent up. And DO NOT make polite conversation - that will turn into a dissertation you did not carve out time to hear.

Even stink eye guy has a story, and while it may not be one you're interested in...know that you are interesting, captivating and well worth watching. In fact, most people just can't turn away. 

Post Contest Rebound

by Kris Pitcher

Oh, it can be ugly. So ugly in fact that you've been warned about it. You're scared about it even. You've sought advice for how to deal with it. It's post contest rebound.

Women experience huge weight gain, massive water retention, and serious depression. The rebound can be devastating. It's all a set up. This is an absolute opportunistic time.

And here's the thing - just get a plan together. It is opportunistic in that your muscles are primed to build. They are ready to suck up nutrients and grow like mad. They are thirsty for hydration and nutrients...waiting for you to do the right thing.

What happens is mental breakdown. This is followed by a landslide of carbs, which your body isn't equipped to handle. Before you know it you are on the roller coaster of insulin surges and you might as well have started crack.

The right thing to do? Enjoy a few things in moderation - while eating what you are supposed to eat. What does that mean? It means packing your 6 meals for the day before you head out of the house. It means increasing your healthy fats and increasing the good nutrients in your plan.

It means taking a few days, or a week, off of cardio so your body can have a rest. It means taking advantage of the opportunity of the rebound period by doing some light lifting to push some blood through the muscles.

It means keeping your head straight. It means maintaining some structure - lots of structure - in your life with both your eating and your exercise. You can choose to set yourself up for failure by hitting every restaurant in town because you feel you've been massively deprived.

Or, you can allow yourself some moderate indulgences while maintaining the structure of what your body is used to. Which makes sense for your rebound? Really, post contest rebound is all up to you. What you decide sets you up for your next show...can you guess what I'm doing?

Sisterhood of the Traveling Posing Suit

by Kris Pitcher

There are a lot of things to know about posing suits. Especially to the new competitor, it can be a foreign land. Whether you compete in figure, bikini or physique...you're about to put on one tiny little piece of fabric. And there are just certain things someone should have had the decency to tell you.

It's like the sisterhood of the traveling pants. Everyone needs a big sister to tell her how this thing works. I don't profess to know much about much...but I know a little about a few things. Posing suits is one of the things I've gotten good at.

First you have to decide where to buy this strange "costume". Get on line and start shopping. Ask for referrals. Word of mouth is like gold in this industry and I can't recommend CJ's Elite Competition Wear highly enough.

Everyone has a budget and frankly, that's going to drive where you shop to a certain extent. You can buy something fairly simple and add crystals if you have a steady hand and are the slightest bit crafty.

But there are some first timer mistakes I'd like to help you avoid. Thus the "sisterhood" concept. Practice posing in your suit. If you're not comfortable moving in it, it will show on stage. Don't be afraid of the suit.

Low slung sides are for gangsters, not competitors. PLEASE get those side bands belly button height on your hips. This creates a smaller waist. We all want that. If you let them ride low...your waist looks long and your legs look short. No bueno.

Criss-cross will make you jump (jump) - ok, you may be too young for that reference. Your suit straps cross in the back and need to be tight. This helps to keep those sides at the right place on your hips. You can either tie them to the bottom of your suit, or sew on connectors if you have some sewing skills.

Keep the "girls" in by tying the strap around your neck like you're trying to choke yourself. Well, not literally, but it should be tight as well. Once you are all tied in, this goes for you bikini girls too - PLEASE cut your straps.

I know the last thing you want to do is put scissors any place near your expensive suit. But, you will look like an amature if you have long straps hanging down your back ladies. This is your sister telling you how it is. Cut em.

If your suit fits you well, you will not need to glue it to your body like you're afraid you'll fall out by simply walking five feet. The problem is, you buy a cheap suit that doesn't fit. So, use bikini bite, or spray adhesive and glue your buns in.

If your suit comes away in the front AT ALL, put a little glue there too. No one wants to see that on stage. People naturally glue the back, but forget they can glue the front. Even though it's baby smooth...no tippy outty.

Great, you're all glued in...now you have to pee. Well ladies here's the art of the post-glue pee. You have two options. Ruin your glue job. Or, pull your suit to one side and let er go. Hey, no one said this was going to be pretty. Try not to pee on yourself. A pro can do the doo this way too. Just saying...experience. Flat tummy ladies. It's a good thing.

The fit of your top is important too. Where the cups begin and end based on the placement of your breasts is really key and can completely change your look. A lot of times a small chested gal will choose a close placement in the center, when a bit wider placement might look better.

Likewise, a larger girl will often pull the cup way into her armpit for coverage and it ends up looking like her entire chest and lats are covered up. In that case pushing the sides closer in looks better. So, this takes a good eye. It's an art.

You are going to want to clean your suit right away after your show (the next day). It will be a sad, sweaty, tanned, mess of sparkle lying in a heap on the bathroom floor. Scoop her up and get her taken care of.

I get a big plastic bowl from the kitchen and put cold water in it with a pump of baby wash. I put a pump of the wash in my hand and work the lining of the fabric in the crotch of the bottom of the suit. Then I gently swish it in the bowl. Yuck! Brown water!

Then I rinse it under cold water and put it on a towel (no ringing out). I do the same to the top. Then I roll the suit in the towel to soak excess water before laying it on a dry towel to completely dry. This is a quick process. You don't want to spend much time in the water.

Once it's dry, you can store it in a zipper bag. I've seen people hang them...but that makes no sense to me. Why pull on the elastic? Do what makes sense to you.

Know that MOST of you is out of the suit. So, by all means get your hair removal down. The judges and audience are looking up at you with the lights lighting you up like a neon sign. Any fuzzy hair...anywhere, is going to look like a halo.

And while you might be an angel, this is not the moment to share the fuzz on your buns, toes, or low back. Get a handle on it.

Removing it will not make it come in black, thick, or double next time. Those are old wives tales. Remove. Your. Hair.

Well sisters, I think you're ready to shine on stage. Pick a color that you love, a suit that makes you feel great and one that fits your budget. There are lots to choose from. Most importantly, get your diet and training in line so the suit matters at all. Happy competing!

Contest Coverage!

by Kris Pitcher

You might be wondering how my contest went. Either that or you are just SICK of hearing about it. Regardless, I'm going to give you the low down on the Night of Champions 2012!

After a great year of training, pushing myself, and working on bringing a new level of sharpness to my physique I was ready to hit the stage! Then I almost got HIT.

Friday, on my way to get my hair done I was approaching an intersection of congested traffic and red lights. Everyone was slowing down...except the IDIOT behind me. Tires screeching, smoke billowing and you can imagine what kind of four letter words are going through my mind.



My support, Jacques

Sitting there in my tanned skin, silky PJ's (and nothing else), I'm looking in my rear view mirror wondering if this jack-hole is going to hit me.

Crisis averted as he swerved and went into the other lane. Seriously, pay attention. I've got a contest to compete in!

Saturday morning came very early and things progressed smoothly. I was able to indeed get my false eyelashes on even with the impediment of my false nails. Boy did I feel disabled. I know you ladies have figured out how to do all kinds of things with long nails. But that's not for me.

Make-up on and hair straight as a board (thank you for cooperating over night), I was ready to put my feet up and keep on eating those delicious dry carbs. I felt tired, anxious, nervous, thirsty...the kind of thirsty that could lead you to kill a person.

I was right on track! My bag was by the door like an expectant mother and we were off. I chose to compete in three divisions, making for a long morning of lots of stage time. And lots of work. Masters Figure, over 40; Open Figure class B; and Women's Physique.

Following pre-judging I knew I needed to stay on point. Translation: no water, boring fish meals & dry carbs. But this is a good thing. We rested up for the night show when we'd learn my fate.

Masters, 12 amazing women competing for the title and I would take 2nd place amongst them. Women's Physique begins with the presentation of the routine...which I thought about for about 5 minutes. Sorry, winged it. I was very focused on the work to get stage ready. Knowing it doesn't count for my score made it kind of like that book report you never got to.

I took 3rd place in the WP division amongst 5 very different looking physiques. Still evolving...but a great placing and it qualifies me to do something at the national level should I choose. Happy with that.

Open Figure was the final class for me. The one I felt the best about. And it's the one I won. Seven great competitors in that category including one new comer who I will have to watch out for, she's going to be awesome.

Karly wins overall!

So winning my class meant going for the overall against the winners of each of the other open classes. One of those competitors was team mate Karly, who is fantastic. We went into the contest hoping she'd take overall. Standing next to her was an honor. Sure enough she did win overall. And we couldn't be more proud of her! A very exciting moment.

After a very long and very rewarding day I can reflect by being proud of a productive year of hard work, being humbled by my fellow competitors, being grateful for those who support me, and being thankful for the community of friends in the sport.

A couple of days of scary "unstructured" eating, and I am back on point...I've got something new in sight. And that's how plans are made ;)