Food - Fair or Fuel

by Kris Pitcher

Recently my husband (who is also my coach) and I had a conversation about my off season weight. I'm currently less than 5 pounds up from contest weight 7 weeks post competition. "No one preps like you do." He said.

I told him my success was completely related to the fact he was currently dieting. I'm no fool. And that when he wasn't dieting, I knew it would be much harder for me. I gathered my bags ready to head out the door for work as he was pounding out his cardio on the stair master when he said, "You better think about that."

Not sure if my laughter remained inside my head, or if some of it snuck out...I assured him I was thinking about it. About when he was not dieting, and I would need to eat differently from him. Then I left for work. It was obviously a very serious topic.

But this is truly a point of contention for many couples. The bottom line is, food is not about equity in a relationship. It is not about fairness. There will be a time when he's eating ice cream on the couch, and I will not be able to eat that. I have to be ok with that.

Couples who eat in "fairness" are usually in similar shape. Now, he needs to eat differently to be 190 pounds. I am not 190 pounds. I do not want to be 190 pounds. Are you following?

Wouldn't it be silly if I resented him for being able to eat differently than me? Yet most couples fall into that. These feelings stem from childhood associations, from needing to fulfill basic needs, from food being about love, and everything except about the actual food.

When the time comes, in late November, when he is no longer dieting...it will be more difficult for me to maintain a tight off season. My weight will creep up, a little. I might have to do a few more minutes of cardio. We'll enjoy a few meals out now and then. And I will have to stay very connected to my goals.

Take a moment to stop and think about it. About how you feel about food. Is it fair, is it equitable? Or is it fuel. Does it get you to your goal? Is it ok if other people eat differently? Will you eat this way for a short while, or for the rest of your life?

My off season looks very much like my prep - just more of it. The reason is, this is my lifestyle. I've stopped seeing food as fair, or not fair. It's just fuel.