Mind Your Manners, Gym Etiquette

by Kris Pitcher

We don't want to hear it!

Now would be a good time to remind ourselves of some simple rules of gym etiquette. There is already an influx of new faces, vaguely familiar faces, and faces I hope just disappear. But we do welcome all newcomers and returning exercisers this time of year, and yes we are happy to share!

Actually, I do like this time of year. There is a renewed energy at the gym and every one's buzzing with something...I'm not quite sure what it is, but something. I think it's optimism.Others are already complaining...so let's do our best and remember our manners with a few simple steps:

• No perfume - in fact please stop wearing it all together, but especially at the gym. Your perfume will throw me into a migraine before you can say, "How's tootin?"
• Dress appropriately - please don't be that guy in the too short shorts, or the gal spilling way too much boobage out the neck of your top. Let's leave a little to the imagination. And splurge on something that fits you this year, not in 1978. And don't wear those shoes you mowed the lawn in last year either. You need to suit up.
• Please don't talk on the phone - we know you are important and you are juggling work and family. But really you can take one hour for you. It will all be there when you're done.
• Follow the rules - if there is a 30 minute limit on the cardio machines, that means you too. If there's a ticket system to get into classes, use it - don't just show up and camp out on a spin bike.
• Don't text during yoga - this seems like a no brainer. Seriously, multitasking needs a break too.
• Use your inside voice - if you're center-of-attention guy, or drama-queen please, please just use your inside voice. Not everyone in the gym wants to know about your weekend. Really.
• Don't monopolize equipment - you can't seriously be using all 4 of those machines. We will be working in.
• Allow others to work in - that means to "take turns" using a machine or equipment you are also using. If I come up and you're sitting on the ab machine and I say, "Can I work in?" And you say, "Sure, I just have 2 more sets." Essentially you have said - No. That's not nice, especially if you're just going to sit there.  
• Use a towel, or wipe things off when you're done - No thank you for the MRSA infection. The gym provides spray bottles and paper towels for a reason.
• Put the plates away - if you get the toys out, put them away. That goes for dumbbells, bands, mats, balls, and anything else. 
• Don't make crazy sounds - if I have to look around to make sure I'm not being "punked", or some sleazy movie isn't being made you're making crazy sounds. Don't do that - it's creepy.

When in Rome, do as the regular gym-goers do. This is the way we like it. We have a culture that works because of some simple rules of etiquette which are now common sense to you. Look around the gym for additional rules. No swearing is a given, wear your shoes, don't eat Twinkies on the treadmill. See, simple.

And while other regulars may not agree, I hope you make it past February. Just mind your manners!