My Silent Scream

by Kris Pitcher

The clock read 3:30 AM. I was lying awake drafting an email in my head. The more I edited away the madder I got and by 4:20 AM I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or turn my head and scream into my pillow.

Either way I knew I would be a mess with only 6 hours of sleep. I wanted to quit. To curl up in a ball and shut out the world. I wanted to escape from my life. I didn't want any responsibility. I'd take a way out if there was one. I'd eat my way through days of creamy, gooey, salty, sweet, chunky, soft anything if it would take all the stress away.

But none of that has gotten me through 20 years of successful weight management. I should get some kind of pin for that shouldn't I? Twenty years is a long time. And weight management is about a lot of things.

It's about stress management, loneliness management, loss management, boredom, love, time, grief...it's about managing a lot of things. All those things share something. They share coping with emotion.

For many of us weight management is about tools to cope with emotions. It's about tools to handle stress. So, instead of putting on my robe and cozying up with Adam and his peanut butter jar...I did some deep breathing. Then I laced up my shoes and did my cardio. I cleared my head. I got on with my morning.

Twenty successful years is about choices. It's about choices to silence the scream, to take the responsibility, and to be present in my life. It's about coping every day. You know what I say about weight management...you only have to do it as long as you want it to work.

Here's to the next twenty!