Note To Self

by Kris Pitcher

Dear Self,

I know I don't always let you know how I feel but I'm really proud of you. What you're doing is really hard. And I know it's hard when you feel like everyone and everything around you is fighting what you are trying to do. But you've been so strong. You've stuck to your convictions. That takes a lot of willpower and inner focus.

You feel like you're different when you tell your friends you'd rather not join them out to eat. People don't understand when you need to eat your meals on a "schedule". They don't see why you can't have just one drink. You hear yourself explaining why and it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I know it gets frustrating.

It's hard to keep perspective when you see the numbers. You know things are changing but you have a number stuck in your head. People are complimenting you - but you sometimes aren't sure if you can believe what you hear. I know that feels confusing, like you can't trust yourself.

I know you feel tired, and on the verge of not being able to recover. Your workouts are hard, you've made gains, and you've gotten leaner. It's hard work to balance all of that with everything else you do. I know you don't always feel appreciated for all that you manage.

Self, if you saw in the mirror what others see in you...you would see a strong person, a beautiful person, and a person to look up to. You would see someone to be proud of, to trust in and to have faith in. You would see someone smart, capable and in control. You would see someone who projects energy, confidence and pride. So, if I haven't said it enough lately - I'm really proud of who you are and I love you!

Love,
Me