I Ate A Fatburger

by Kris Pitcher

I'm on a contest diet...and I should not be going around doing this. But, I ate a Fatburger. In exactly four weeks I will be on stage. So, what am I doing eating at Fatburger?

Well, I didn't exactly eat there. I drove by there. I didn't know it was there actually. I knew there was a Fatburger at the casino. And, I have eaten there. For real. Apparently we have another Fatburger.

When I drove by I had this amazingly real fantasy about eating there. I could smell the burger, the fries...I could feel the fizz of the bubbles of my diet soda. My mouth started to water and I could smell that hot, salty french fry smell.

I don't even think I like Fatburger? I've eaten there once. One time. Ever. But dieting for a contest will make you want things, fantasize about, things you never really even want. I noticed the price of Pop Tarts for instance.

Off season, I would never eat a Pop Tart (sorry Mary). It just wouldn't be my first choice of something yummy to pick. The guy who checked out my groceries asked me if I liked the fish I was buying.

Yes, in fact I do. And that's why I was buying 16 pounds of it. He went on to tell me all about how his 13 year old daughter did not like fish, or shrimp, or scallops. I was drooling on the keypad of the thing you swipe your credit card on.

His daughter does however like pickled herring. I'll be damned if I didn't have the strongest craving for pickled herring that I still can't kick! Now, that is something I would eat off season. Please don't hate me.

My fantasies will continue and I hope they'll seem as real as life. I hope I can smell and taste and reach out and almost touch them. Then I'll smile in the mirror and march through the next four weeks as I make my way to the stage.

I don't even know if I like Fatburger? Who knows, maybe I'll give it a try...it's just four weeks away.