The Ultimatum, Me or the Exercise

by Kris Pitcher

The ultimatum sounds like this: "It's either me, or the exercise."

Now, this doesn't even make sense to me. But I know countless women who have to deal with this. One of the things that's happening here is sabotage. We'll talk about that...it's safer. *smile.

When we're successful at our efforts we often find people have a hard time with it. We have the "food pushers" who just want us to have one, or take a bite etc. We have the "procrastinators" who want us to wait until later, who want us to shop with them or see a movie or something.

And the ultimate saboteur is the "ultimatum"...me or the exercise. You're left with quite a choice here. The problem is you don't share values with this person. So, if it's someone you plan, or you've been pretending, to spend your life with...there's a disconnect.

This person is threatened and feels left out of your exercise. They very well may not be interested in the slightest to join you, you have likely tried that route. If you've made changes in your weight they may not be comfortable with who you have become.

The saboteur might find it easier to manipulate someone with lower self esteem than you're developing. They may not like the new sense of self you are gaining as you progress with your program. Change is hard. It's been hard for you.

So, what do I say? I say like it or lump it! I say you've got some distance between your core values with this person. I say, anyone dealing with this kind of ultimatum needs to quietly plan their exit.

Ulitimatums come as someone begins to lose control over you. Realizing you've been in that situation is scary. Sure, sometimes you can negotiate your way around a comment like that. But other times you've hit an impass. Be careful with the ultimatum, you should never be asked to choose.