Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Waxing for Competition

by Kris Pitcher

I was SO this may not remain PG13. So, tune out now if you don't want to hear about lady stuff. But in my world...everything is fodder for blog play. (Watch yourself.)

It's time to start the waxing process in preparation for my contest. And, frankly who doesn't want to be all soft and smooth. We've gone well past PG13. Sorry. But in contrast, having hair and skin ripped from your body by hot wax hurts like a m-f-er.

So, for any of you guys out there getting all geared up over this topic, think about having your nards slathered with hot wax and someone standing over you using all the leverage they can muster to rip that wax off with all their strength. I hope it makes you sweat and tear up a little.

Anyway, conscientious hair removal begins a few months out. My "regular" girl is difficult to get on the books, and I'd rather see her for a massage, so I'm trying someone new. Scary. But I lady-up and the day comes...excited!

Low and behold wouldn't you know it, I get my lady period. WTH? How does this happen? What's the protocol here? It literally happened the hour before my appointment. Bloody hell!

Now, I don't have a lot of free time. This is why I was so excited, I had waited a week! I call the salon and get the answering machine. Hmm?

I imagine myself leaving the following message, "Hi, this is Kris and I have a 1:15 brazillian appointment...aaaaannnd, I just got my PERIOD!" I wasn't going to leave that on the answering machine. In the car and to the salon I went.

Everyone gets their period, this happens, I just didn't know the protocol here. Explaining my situation I felt bad, like I was wasting the hour. She explained that we'd reschedule, which we did. I even asked if there was something else we could do to fill her hour.

Being the salon owner she said she was plenty busy and this was not a problem...she even said it wasn't my fault (thank you). Stupid period.

I'm off to wait another week to get my hair and skin ripped out. Here you just thought competition was about dieting and lifting weights...boy did you get waxed!  

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha! Great post, Kris. 2 words for you... Instead Softcup. Problem Solved. ^-^