Sunday, January 8, 2012

Bad Betty

by Kris Pitcher

We all have friends. We have great friends, old friends, friends who support us and you guessed it..."Bad Betty" friends. Whether it's your college room mate, the playgroup ladies, or the crew you grew up with we all have Bad Betty's in our mix.

The Bad Betty is the friend you gorge on pizza with on Saturday nights in your pajamas, or the friend you end up doing tequila shots with when you go out "for a glass of wine".

The problem with Betty is she brings out the worst behavior in you...bad behavior. She brings out behavior you are WAY past. Together the two of you do things you wouldn't want your kids to find out about. You do things that teenagers aren't even doing anymore. And usually, OK always, this is extremely calorically devastating to your goals.

The setbacks associated with Betty are seriously holding you back. They are keeping you from reaching your goals and they are steering you off course. And chances are Betty isn't benefiting from the flashback to the 80's either. Or 90's, or when ever you happened to have your hay day.

So how do you handle Bad Betty? You can certainly have a conversation about it. "You know Betty when we get together our weekends get a little out of hand. How would you like to have a spa weekend instead of a party weekend?" I bet you could find ways to spend time together that aren't just a reversion to what's most comfortable.

And if that cramps Betty's style then spending less time together is an option. "I appreciate the offer to go out for drinks, but I'm headed to the gym Friday night. I'll catch you guys another time."

Don't feed into being a Bad Betty or let Betty feed your bad behavior. The key to dealing with friends who sabotage your efforts is staying clear about what your goals are, recognizing the changes in your actions when you're together, and being honest with your friend about what's important to you. Chances are they'll understand.

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