Friday, June 22, 2012

Party Of One

by Kris Pitcher

You've sent invitations and planned the theme. All of the arrangements have been made and everything is going to be just perfect. You've planned all the party food, the've picked the perfect time on the perfect day!

But you don't really expect anyone to come to this party. In fact, you were looking over your shoulder at the grocery store hoping no one would see you put that quart of ice cream in the cart. And that liter bottle of told the checker you were having friends over.

It just so happens you've planned this pity party all for yourself. Just you, your pajamas, what ever is on TV, and a whole bunch of junk to eat. You've got liquid love, and creamy comfort. The salt will take away your sadness and the carbs will make all your cares go away. Or will they?

This party of one hardly seems like a good idea does it? Yet, how many times has this scenario played out - a bazillion. Which is a lot. Somehow, eating mindlessly trying to fill our emptiness never seems to work.

You should still have the party, you just need to replace the behaviors. Fill the bathtub, play some music, use all that fancy stuff in your bathroom. Make some iced herbal tea, or iced water with cucumber and mint and put it in a special glass. This is your party, make is special.

Or get some movies, make a healthy meal and use the good dishes. Treat yourself with care, get yourself flowers instead of all that junk. It's time to find new ways to celebrate. The pity party is over rated. It under-delivers.

Curl up with that book you've been dying to read, or get busy on that project you've been thinking about. The idea is you need to replace those activities with ones which are nurturing, which create self-care, and celebrate who you are. You don't need to punish yourself with a pity party. No one's's just you.

We somehow think our defiance will really "show them!" - who exactly? This solo binge pity party is only showing you that you aren't worth taking care of. That's simply not the case. Knock it off.

You are a party of one when it comes to taking care of yourself first. When you do it, so will others. Expect the best for yourself and give it of and to yourself. Change the face of this party, you are invited!

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